Friday, October 31, 2008
To all my friends who I've not replied your emails/calls/letters, this is an apology, cos it's been really relaly really overwhelming these 2 wks. BUT once today is over I'LL SEND THEM OUT FIRST THING TMR. I promise. Ofeee, i have so much to tell u! Remind me to tell you about a dream that I have about someone we know if I forget to in the email.
Andandand even though not many mich people read this I'd just want to say I'm very grateful for every single one
tis xmas, plz stay wit me..
xx
11:27 PM
# # # Thursday, October 30, 2008
I'm so happy today. And I want to remember what keeps me in good spirits.
I mean there's the never ending and ever accumulating workload and a extremely shitty eecs exam results and a extremely gross be exam and a horribly uncompleted and minimal-efforted project 3, but I'm in such high spirits....(for really mundane reasons)
So I overslept and felt really horrible in the morning cos I went for dinner with eugene and brian at 1 am (aftr handing in tht blasted project. ahha brian said he cursed more in the last 3 days then in the whole year) i came back i just wanted to K.O.
So went for BE (late and unwashed) butbutbut on the way back we found out xinyi stalked us...and it was damn good talking to her and all...until i was late for eecs lesson. so rushedrushedrushed to take the bus...and i saw yundi! and talked alotalot too...until i was at eecs...where i basically talked to corwn the whole lesson away...
and then it was lunch...and it was nice hanging out with eecs ppl + yundi + isabelle...and then i rushed for math class( late, what else).
sat thru math, went back, and shuying brought us (us + chris) to meijers which wasnt too bad too. talktalktalktalk then i went to roys place n it was nice talking to him cos haven't seen him in awhile. And then i went up the music sch and met corwin and kaijian and talktalktalk sommore.
Its the feeling of nvr being lonely and not being in socially awkward situations tht make me feel good...i think
tis xmas, plz stay wit me..
xx
4:12 PM
# # # Sunday, October 26, 2008
at 12, you are anxious as to whether your friends are still your friends and the worst thing that can happen to you is losing all your friends or not belonging to any clique.
at 20, no matter your gender, that insecurity is still present (in everybody)
i want to record all my msn nicks i make or want to make whilst doing this blasted project. just tonight alone:
sqUAre, not sqAUre - because i spell it otherwise
i believe deep deep down inside, i really believe square is spelled sqAUre
evilEvilCode
-more to come as i go along, trust me on this
tis xmas, plz stay wit me..
xx
4:05 PM
# # #
Actually I should really really blog about fall break. Thanks to everyone who didn't leave there was never a mmoment when I was lonely...
Thurs: Yuzhen called me and asked me out for a movie (Burn after reading) Random, but I rather enjoyed it. Not to mention it was a depressing night and I was feeling rather lonely...
Fri: In the midst of rushing out BIT, arthur asked if I was bored enough to go Meijer's. So happily we went to Meijer's at 1+ am in the morning (Krogers was closed >=()
Sat: Finance project with arthur for most of the day. (He made lamb for dinner which was pro-ness) and then programming in Ugli with Roy for the rest of the night...
Sun: Monroe Lake Erie with arthur liyu nichola, pretty pretty! Glad to see Lake Erie cos i don't ever want to graduate from Mich without seeing the great lakes. Mutter concert at night with Roy, which was really good (thought a concert full of Bach would be boring, but nope! hooked on his violin concertos now) Went to Highlands or the night to do programming with Jeff...and fell asleep there
Mon: Stayed in highlands till dinne time when it was dinner at East Ann for rongsiu. DAMN GOOD with loads loads of garlic. Played Mafia/polar bear/panda bear which was a hilarious affair. Went back up to highlands to program sommore
Tues: Stayed majorly at home to study for EECSEECSEECS! (which didn't go too well. but even though i didn't go anywhere for fall break, i guess i had a good enough time with everyone else. thts the way i kinda like ann arbor, with a few people but not too many)
Went to watch Schiff play sonatas of op.31 and waldstein last night. Sadly i liked his performance of tempest the least, and its the one i've been relaly really looking forward too. Highlight was in the middle of the adagio movement soeone gave a loud SNORE. Haha the girl beside me couldn't stop sniggering. Waldstein and op. 31 no. 3 were my favs =)
tis xmas, plz stay wit me..
xx
6:16 AM
# # # Saturday, October 25, 2008
i'm incredibly guilty cos i ignored someon'e desperate plea for help
...
sam's been bad.On an unrelated issue, I gave my grandmother a call again for the first time in weeks 2 nights ago. She said she was just thinking of me, and she dreamt of me the night before, and my calling her made her v v happy. (Makes me happy too =) When I gave her another call one night later she told me she related to my aunt how I called her just when she was thinking of me) I guess with the demise of some people's grandparents, it made me realise I have to appreciate them more cos their time is limited. And there's few people I love more than my grandparents.
tis xmas, plz stay wit me..
xx
4:20 AM
# # # Friday, October 24, 2008
tmdtmdtmdtmdtmd
tis xmas, plz stay wit me..
xx
4:24 PM
# # #
sometimes its just nice to know that no matter what happens there'll be people behind me and I won't ever be lonely. no matter how insecure i can be about being lonely, deep deep really really deep down inside i know there'll always be people. good people who will watch out for me. at this rate, all the bad things in the world can happen but nothing will prob get me down.
(nothing triggered this off, just musing.)
tis xmas, plz stay wit me..
xx
2:07 PM
# # # Tuesday, October 21, 2008
i promise never to laugh at people who cannot program again. PROMISE!
tis xmas, plz stay wit me..
xx
2:32 PM
# # #
sometimes i wish things were as simple and easy to implemnt as you describe. telling you about it and laughing over it makes me feel loads better and i wish wish WISH tht i could put just that into action
if there's anything i;m grateful for, its having very very close friends from everywhere. maybe i don't have altoaltoalotALOT of friends, but at least those tht i do are close =)
tis xmas, plz stay wit me..
xx
11:59 AM
# # # Sunday, October 19, 2008
If everyone likes people that they can't get (fact of life. it's empirically proven), what happens? Do we all wait forever and ever, or do either party lower their standards. I don't really see happiness in lowering standards. And love triangles/rectangles/polygons don't exist. They're usually more like, never-ending upward-climbing spirals.
tis xmas, plz stay wit me..
xx
12:50 AM
# # #
glorious fall break ahead =)))
tis xmas, plz stay wit me..
xx
12:06 AM
# # # Sunday, October 12, 2008
...and it was another great day, this time spent basking in the warmth of the kerrytown sun.
life's good this sem (maybe only till as the weather holds) and i'm lovin' every day of it.
'strange now that I think of it, I really can't control my mood. It's so unexpected what puts me in a good mood.
And another point: my most memorable times at RJ are about laughing and bantering with my friends and teachers in class and in the canteens and in the random areas. Just sayin'.
tis xmas, plz stay wit me..
xx
4:16 AM
# # # Friday, October 10, 2008
It's becoming increasingly obvious what is more important to me, or perhaps, most important to me, in life.
I used to think it was about being powerful and high flying and in school, that meant having very good results and the busiest schedule and the most powerful internships and all, but I recently realised that my main satisfaction doesn't come from that (should have realised it last year already) That joy is temporary, short lived, and is there only to serve as a "sour grapes" kind of comfort. LIke, if I'm depressed, I tell myself, Oh, at least I got full marks on that test. And my ego rises and I immensely feel better about myself...for awhile.
Rather, my main satisfaction actually comes from successfully making friends, successfully putting a decent first impression on people, bringing my relatinoships with people to higher levels, being liked, e.t.c. Probably cos for me, this is not something I can take for granted. Last year was just bleak and depressng and I nvr knew why. Then berkeley felt so great and I nvr could really pinpoint why either. And this term it was just unsettling. LIke I'm always itching to get out of my seat to go out and Do Something. In the past 2 days, however, suddenly my mood increased drastically. And I think I know why. Anything, from an email from friends from long ago, being able to sustain a msn conversation, being able to act naturally in front of aquaintances, bantering...somehow, unknowingly they increase my mood so much.
Of course I still have to strive for results, if not there'll be no mood to celebrate the end of exams tmr. I still wanna enjoy my weekend.
tis xmas, plz stay wit me..
xx
2:53 PM
# # # Thursday, October 09, 2008
today was f.u.n. =)))
Started off a horrible day, felt likei was drifting in and out of classes and home with no aim whatsoever. Until food fest meeting, and i went for dinner and felt v happy cos i think i need to expand my social circle. andit was a good dinner.
thenthen went to ugli and then cse and THEN school of music where i met both corwin and kaijian, and corwin had the sonata for horn and piano scoreeee. WHEE. and tempest hit a new high.
tis xmas, plz stay wit me..
xx
3:15 PM
# # #
to all my friends who i haven;t been contacting for some time ( i know u all read this): i'm sorry, i'm still alive, and i'll call/email/send letters to u soon (esp u ofe!! u dissappear i dissappear we don't know each other go where)
tis xmas, plz stay wit me..
xx
1:41 AM
# # # Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Lunchtime convo:
Lubin: is there a Singaporean professor? Why isn't she in SSA
Jeff: cos she's not a student. She should set up a Singapore Professor Association
me:...and membership = 1...?
Lubin: call it SPCA
HAHA
tis xmas, plz stay wit me..
xx
6:43 AM
# # #
The cricket in EECS 280 lecture hall (that's been there for the past month or so) makes me feel like I"m studying in the night safari and it just seems to go louder and louder as the hour and the half goes by.
tis xmas, plz stay wit me..
xx
5:25 AM
# # # Monday, October 06, 2008
I think I've spent a bomb on all my jackets but I love every single one of them!!
Those that I've bought since I came:
1. Gear Michigan Blue Jacket: 30 Bucks. Soft material, nice sleeve ends (hemmed and not stretchy like hoodies), nice zip, with a nice waist. Basically this is all that I look for in a jacket. Bought end of last winter.
2. Northface Down Jacket. about 200 bucks. Just the right length, not too long such that it makes me look short, but not above the waist tht make me look like a dumpling. Off white, which is also the way i like it. Has a waist too, looks slim rather then dumpy (like most down jackets too) Reasonable feel power: 600. Not too little but not too much tht u pay ridiculously more for abit of extra down. Bought mid fall term 07
3. Suede Jacket 24 bucks. Very nice. basically professional sudede jacket tht was on 75% and then another 20% off. Very good deal
4. Dark green semi formal jacket, 30 dollars. its ok, just looks formal.
5. AND FINALLY TRENCH JACKET FOR 30 BUCKS JUST BOUGHT IT YESTERDAY EXTREMELY NICE and just the right length. denim. not too formal so can wear most of the time. flattering too. wheeee.
tis xmas, plz stay wit me..
xx
2:01 PM
# # # Sunday, October 05, 2008
hORRIBLE week:
Monday - Rushed out all the omeowrk due on Tues. Math and Accounting
Tues - Rushed out be qUIZ
Wed - Rushed out programming project
Thurs: Rushed out programming project and studied for acc exam
Fri: accounting exam
After v litle sleep and alot of adrenaline i can finally rest.
tis xmas, plz stay wit me..
xx
1:36 AM
# # # Friday, October 03, 2008
1. Studying for accounting now and its damnnnn siannnnn.
2. i realised watching tv makes me feel less lonely. Or at least doing stuff with TV on just gives me a sense of security. Even though it reduces my concentration.
3. saw people's rj photos and feeling ratherrr nostalgic. wearing uniform again, where its almost always warm and sunny, running around campus, slacking around in study areas and the canteen......
the most memorable scene stuck in my head as of now is the view of the sunset or the evening sky from the overhead bridge behind rj on braddell road. its alon the route to the busstop aftedr studying with hanyou, or after piano ensemb practice esp the wks running up to the '06 concert (where there is also a plethora of people who live around the same as me and can go back with me)
tis xmas, plz stay wit me..
xx
10:46 AM
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